BORED/Bridezillas Marathon

Yes.

I know.

349 days left and I'm bored out of my mind. So, what would any sane human being do who already had their dress, their bridesmaids dresses picked out, their fiances wedding band in hand, their save-the-dates sent out, their guest list finalized, their photographer booked, their venue booked and their DIY flower started?

Watch WE's Wedding Sunday: Bridezillas, of course.

I've said this before, but, I really think this show should be called "Women Who Are Bitches Who Are Also Getting Married To A Poor Sucker."

So, since I really have nothing better to do, I decided to make a Top 10 Ways to Avoid Becoming a Bridezilla List. Enjoy:

10. Be Gracious--Most of these episodes feature women who are having their weddings paid for by mommy, daddy, fiance and in some cases, friends and other family members. But, it's still "MY WEDDING!" No, actually, it isn't. It's whoever is paying for the wedding's wedding. Weddings are expensive and especially if you aren't paying for it, suck it up and say "thank you," every few hours or so. Because anyone who is actually speaking to you, deserves it.

9. Be Flexible--nothing goes as planned. This is true in life and especially when planning a wedding. You want those $700 satin chocolate pin-tuck table linens, but they only come in bark? Whatever will you do with your life?! Just kill yourself now, because honestly, if you substitute chocolate linen for bark, everyone will know that it means you are a loser and your marriage will end in failure. *SARCASM* The details are important, but not more important than the MARRIAGE. Chill out and roll with the punches.

8. Get Better Friends--If you have friends who will put up with your tirades day, after day and will allow you to berate them, belittle them, yell at them, hit them and make them feel like you are better than them...then you need better friends. Granted, you also need to not be such a lunatic, but short of 15 years of intensive psychotherapy, just get better friends. I couldn't imagine ever speaking to anyone I know the way these crazies talk to their bridal party, and if I ever did unknowingly and Toni, Christy, Amanda, Carla and Caitlin didn't take me down a notch, I'd be really shocked.

7. Family Planning--seriously...stop having kids. At least for a while. You are just making more bridezillas with your bad behavior, so while you're complaining that your 3 kids were running around your wedding reception and nobody was watching them, and then in the same breath expressing excitement for having more babies with your new hubby, please re-think that plan. For the sake of mankind.

6. Lyrca--Girlfriend. Lyrca is your friend. Wear spankx. Love them. Cherish them. And tuck all your lady goods into them. This is especially true if you decide to wear clothing that does not fit your body type.

5. Definitions--

am·bi·tion/amˈbiSHən/

Noun:

A strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work. Desire and determination to achieve success. psy·cho·sis/sīˈkōsəs/ Noun: A severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.

There is a huge difference between never stopping to achieve your dream and being a raving lunatic. Make sure you know the difference.

1-4 to come soon.